Year of Change

2015. Hardly a new year for me. Same old people, same old school, same old problems to deal with. Same old crappy professors at uni.

But this one time I read my horoscope–well, I don’t really believe them but it gave me the idea– and it said that 2015 is the year of change for me. It said it’s either I embark on a new career which would give me new opportunities and more possibilities of success in my life.

Well, last year, I’d say I had a bit of crappy one, because halfway past the year I swerved away from studying hard because of some issue, which involved a famous rock band, making it’s way to me. Easily put, I fell in love with a band, I fangirled. Not really bad, I know but it affected my studies so hard because it was my first time of being a fangirl, I had a great time as one but a hard time as a student.

I admit that I always lose focus to the task at hand because of twitter, facebook and those lot that made me feel ‘connected’to the said band. I interacted with fangirls like me(to be honest it really feels weird saying/writing that since I’m not a girly girl). All I do in class is hold my phone, scroll through my twitter relentlessly, waiting for my idols to come online for me to spam them for a follow.

At some nights, I often feel ashamed of what I become and promise myself I’d start studying hard again, the next day but it just gets broken because of crappy profs and stuff.

This 2015 I want a fresh start, as I feel the fangirl feels slowly subsiding–I still love the unknown band so much though– I plan to go back to studying and hopefully, 2015 will help me. I’m a full scholar so I pay nothing in my university but once I fuck up and get low grades, I’d lose it and I can’t let that happen.

I really, really pray that I get through this semester spotless and I still carry on ’til I finish college.

As I write this, I’m ashamed of myself still. I’m still in the process of getting my head in the game. My maths are in a crucial stage. I lo0ve math don’t get me wrong, but I had about 4 absences already, all reasons are getting late/not making it to class because it starts at 7 AM, and I’m 2 hours away from uni and that just means I have to wake up at 3 or 4 AM to be able to get there early but then transportation is just..*loud sigh*

Hopefully, I’d really go back to focusing on my studies, it’s our midterm period and I seriously need to keep my shit together.

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