As someone who creeps and lives in the interweb for most of my waking hours, I’ve gone to know an awful lot of people and became friends with them. Some closer than others, some I trust with my fears and self-doubts. But of course, it’s only normal to realize some of them are different than what they seem.
I’ve treated some friends with so much love, understanding and passion. Showed them myself when I am most vulnerable, let them see my scars and imperfections, told them my secrets and deep desires.
But time comes for me to furrow my eyebrows and wonder at the things they do to me. They lash out and I act with understanding, knowing they have issues and stayed even then, because I accept them, imperfections and all.
Then, I realize the stress that it causes me, making me doubt my friendship. Was I even a good friend? Do I deserve this kind of treatment? Do I just keep on understanding? And endure being called a shit friend, when life catches up to me and I fail to answer messages?
I already knew the answer, thinking about it thoroughly.
I realized that friendship should be about happiness. It should not stress you, make you feel uncomfortable and should never make you doubt yourself. Friendship is all about supporting each other’s ideals and building each other up—calling them out on their wrongs but staying on their side. Friends should make you feel safe, not unwanted. Friends should make you feel confident, not doubtful. Friends should make you feel happy, not and never sad.
Friends are happiness and if your friend makes you feel uncomfortable, sad, and doubtful, I ask you to think of the reasons why you’re staying and try to remember why you were friends at all.
You became friends because they understand you, make you happy, but do they still?
It’s not fun just letting go of a friend, as for me, I never let go, I just loosened the grip. I realized if they were treating me as trash sometimes, I should just treat them as a friend, not as close as I used to, the things I tell them limit down to how my day was, and I’d say it was fine, all the gory details I would’ve told a close friend all left in my lips and my fingers. I don’t type it all, I don’t open up as much as I used to, and I feel a little better.
I know it’s selfish, not investing in a friendship anymore but it’s your happiness at stake here. You can’t keep on trying to be a good friend and be called a bad one just because you didn’t get to answer a message because you were out babysitting your sister.
Be your own friend, if it comes to that. Love yourself—and I’m not being sarcastic here. Or maybe, stick to friends who bring out the best in you, who make you genuinely happy. (-: