i can’t have that

there are just one too many ways i can silence these voices, kill my demons, end this madness— but i choose not to. for killing them means killing me. and killing me means leaving you— i can't have that.



it's all static noise now, ever since you left. i stare at the empty space beside me, and my agony couldn't be kept. i screamed and i screamed, and i clawed at my throat, but the noise of your absence couldn't be drowned out. it went on and on; a single, devastating note. - s.c.m.

for when you feel nothing

Read this when you feel nothing.   And by nothing, I mean everything at once.   When the walls you’ve slowly built around your fragile heart have been bombarded yet again by the painful words.   When you thought you were strong enough to just ignore them, but still, the walls crumble, still, the walls… Continue reading for when you feel nothing

she doesn’t cry gently

she doesn't cry gently, she wasn't fit for those lines in the books, where the girls silently weep, still keeping utmost grace and poise she cries like a child, loud and messy, and in a way, it was more painful to watch, because you can see her ripping to pieces, her cries and sobs like… Continue reading she doesn’t cry gently


she is vicious; always on her toes, she attacks anyone who comes too close she is rabid, she is wild, she's full of wonder like a child she is untamed; she has no rules to follow she doesn't bend around a norm, for the norm is afraid to be swallowed by her ecletic views and… Continue reading she-wolf

you don’t get it

you don't get it; i said i won't leave and there's nothing you can do that would make me go you think after one breakdown, that after i see your broken form— your real self, naked and bare— i would leave. you think when i witness your demons wreaking havoc and your struggle for control,… Continue reading you don’t get it


sometimes she's the past; a lingering aftertaste of the wine you had yesterday, a flashback of emotions you felt when you drowned as a kid, a familiar smell you never could describe. sometimes she's the present, full of spontaneity, shallow breaths and quick heartbeats, she bursts with life and carries around a vibrant aura, she… Continue reading past/present

a disaster

we are a disaster when our lips touch, an earth-shaking explosion that comes in a rush our eyes serve as the trigger and our bodies are the bombs, we detonate through each other's words— sweet nothings slipping from our tongues our hands are literal hand grenades, making sensations explode in each other's skin upon contact… Continue reading a disaster