i can’t have that

there are just one too many ways i can silence these voices, kill my demons, end this madnessโ€” but i choose not to. for killing them means killing me. and killing me means leaving youโ€” i can't have that.

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subway trains and you

there's a striking resemblance to what i feel when the subway train comes, and what i feel when you do. a fear. fear of falling down on the rails, just as the train would pass. fear of falling in your arms, of falling in love too fast. an exhilaration. of when the wind of its… Continue reading subway trains and you

static

it's all static noise now, ever since you left. i stare at the empty space beside me, and my agony couldn't be kept. i screamed and i screamed, and i clawed at my throat, but the noise of your absence couldn't be drowned out. it went on and on; a single, devastating note. - s.c.m.

make believe

we lay in a bed of deceit, where our blankets are lies. and underneath the sheets, there is an ocean of alibis. a make-believe love, held together by our pretentions. we convince ourselves that this is enough, that we are nothing short of perfection. 'i love you,' you say, and i say i feel my… Continue reading make believe

she-wolf

she is vicious; always on her toes, she attacks anyone who comes too close she is rabid, she is wild, she's full of wonder like a child she is untamed; she has no rules to follow she doesn't bend around a norm, for the norm is afraid to be swallowed by her ecletic views and… Continue reading she-wolf

you don’t get it

you don't get it; i said i won't leave and there's nothing you can do that would make me go you think after one breakdown, that after i see your broken formโ€” your real self, naked and bareโ€” i would leave. you think when i witness your demons wreaking havoc and your struggle for control,… Continue reading you don’t get it

a disaster

we are a disaster when our lips touch, an earth-shaking explosion that comes in a rush our eyes serve as the trigger and our bodies are the bombs, we detonate through each other's wordsโ€” sweet nothings slipping from our tongues our hands are literal hand grenades, making sensations explode in each other's skin upon contact… Continue reading a disaster