subway trains and you

there’s a striking resemblance to what i feel when the subway train comes, and what i feel when you do. a fear. fear of falling down on the rails, just as the train would pass. fear of falling in your arms, of falling in love too fast. an exhilaration. of when the wind of its […]


it’s all static noise now,
ever since you left.
i stare at the empty space beside me,
and my agony couldn’t be kept.

i screamed and i screamed,
and i clawed at my throat,
but the noise of your absence couldn’t be drowned out.
it went on and on; a single, devastating note.

– s.c.m.



she is vicious; always on her toes, she attacks anyone who comes too close she is rabid, she is wild, she’s full of wonder like a child she is untamed; she has no rules to follow she doesn’t bend around a norm, for the norm is afraid to be swallowed by her ecletic views and […]

you don’t get it

you don’t get it; i said i won’t leave and there’s nothing you can do that would make me go you think after one breakdown, that after i see your broken form— your real self, naked and bare— i would leave. you think when i witness your demons wreaking havoc and your struggle for control, […]


fall on your knees and tell me you’re sorry, sounds like an order but it’s more like a plea regret what you did and tell me you’ll change, promise me your heart and all the blood in your veins erase her name, her kisses, and her touch from your memory, and i would try to […]


sometimes she’s the past; a lingering aftertaste of the wine you had yesterday, a flashback of emotions you felt when you drowned as a kid, a familiar smell you never could describe. sometimes she’s the present, full of spontaneity, shallow breaths and quick heartbeats, she bursts with life and carries around a vibrant aura, she […]

a disaster

we are a disaster when our lips touch, an earth-shaking explosion that comes in a rush our eyes serve as the trigger and our bodies are the bombs, we detonate through each other’s words— sweet nothings slipping from our tongues our hands are literal hand grenades, making sensations explode in each other’s skin upon contact […]

Mom’s Day

I would say one should not only show affection and appreciation to Mothers only on Mother’s Day but every day but then we don’t want to be a buzzkill, aye? Let’s just celebrate and be jolly!

Happy MOM’s Day to all your wonderful moms!

This day you should double up the show of affection and love to all your mothers—biological nor not.

A mother comes in different forms: a friend, a sister, a teacher, and the most basic form, your actual mom.

I know we all have different relationships with our moms, some harder than others. But please, please, please listen to me. Always and always choose to love your mom, rather than harbor hate towards her, not talk to her, ignore her, treat her like a nobody.

Your moms could be trying to understand your warped teenage mind so we should bear with them and meet them halfway—I know that some moms may not be as nice or as loving as others but like I said, harboring hate towards your parents, your father included, would never result to anything good.

Okay, they may have looked down on you, mocked the things that make you happy, and your resentment and anger has grown so much that you don’t even talk, let’s just realize that for every wrong thing they do, they have sacrificed more for us.

And one day they could just be gone and we could never talk to them again, never hug them. We should always forgive our parents, no matter how awful they can be because in the end, they are all we have.

I know it’s hard for some of you but I still stand for what I believe in. You don’t see a son or a daughter happy about a parent’s passing. There will only be regret.

Whew! This has taken a road down a sensitive topic, anyway, always love your parents, love anyone if you could! This world is too twisted and needs more of love and kind people. Be one of them. Enjoy the day! Make your mom smile today! (-:

Friends are happiness

As someone who creeps and lives in the interweb for most of my waking hours, I’ve gone to know an awful lot of people and became friends with them. Some closer than others, some I trust with my fears and self-doubts. But of course, it’s only normal to realize some of them are different than what they seem.

I’ve treated some friends with so much love, understanding and passion. Showed them myself when I am most vulnerable, let them see my scars and imperfections, told them my secrets and deep desires.

But time comes for me to furrow my eyebrows and wonder at the things they do to me. They lash out and I act with understanding, knowing they have issues and stayed even then, because I accept them, imperfections and all.

Then, I realize the stress that it causes me, making me doubt my friendship. Was I even a good friend? Do I deserve this kind of treatment? Do I just keep on understanding? And endure being called a shit friend, when life catches up to me and I fail to answer messages?

I already knew the answer, thinking about it thoroughly.

I realized that friendship should be about happiness. It should not stress you, make you feel uncomfortable and should never make you doubt yourself. Friendship is all about supporting each other’s ideals and building each other up—calling them out on their wrongs but staying on their side. Friends should make you feel safe, not unwanted. Friends should make you feel confident, not doubtful. Friends should make you feel happy, not and never sad.

Friends are happiness and if your friend makes you feel uncomfortable, sad, and doubtful, I ask you to think of the reasons why you’re staying and try to remember why you were friends at all.

You became friends because they understand you, make you happy, but do they still?

It’s not fun just letting go of a friend, as for me, I never let go, I just loosened the grip. I realized if they were treating me as trash sometimes, I should just treat them as a friend, not as close as I used to, the things I tell them limit down to how my day was, and I’d say it was fine, all the gory details I would’ve told a close friend all left in my lips and my fingers. I don’t type it all, I don’t open up as much as I used to, and I feel a little better.

I know it’s selfish, not investing in a friendship anymore but it’s your happiness at stake here. You can’t keep on trying to be a good friend and be called a bad one just because you didn’t get to answer a message because you were out babysitting your sister.

Be your own friend, if it comes to that. Love yourself—and I’m not being sarcastic here. Or maybe, stick to friends who bring out the best in you, who make you genuinely happy. (-: